I have been hearing the call to write more often. It has been awhile. Exactly one month from today, I turn 64, so perhaps that has inspired me. I know the other thing is that I have recently been triggered by my mother and our relationship. And I felt called to check in with my granny, who was my mother’s mother. They had a challenging relationship but I feel that I will get some truth or enlightenment from a conversation with Granny. I called her my funny Grandma.
Granny aka Marian Elizabeth Copping
Hello dear. My funny granny daughter. It is right and good that you did not try to contact me sooner. I was in a long spell of schooling here in the other dimensions and unavailable for comment. And what comments I could give would NOT be helpful. I have been here now for about 10 years, not that your earth time means anything here. But just for a point of reference for you.
When I was on earth, I was unable to convey with extreme accuracy the awe and depth of the love I have/had/have for you. I think you felt it on a few levels but I was in an earthly body that could not share that love and joy. With you or anyone. Your mother was my first child and it was HARD FOR HER. I had her and her two sisters within 3 years. The first two girls did not get the attention from me that they needed. And your grandpa Roy REALLY wanted an heir to his throne. Yes, he thinks/thought he was a king. He really loved you, by the way! So your dear mama got NOTHING from us. She got all the residuals of shame and not good enough from both her parents. Her path is unique to her and we don’t really know if she will ever come to a balanced state of self love. She thinks that her path with “the Lord” is real and true. And perhaps this has saved her in one sense, but as you well know, she is unbalanced to say the least of it. YOU have known this your whole life. First you were born and she focused with extreme attention on you, in an unhealthy way. A smothering kind of way. Because she was looking to GET something. Not be a mother. Your father was not a good fit for her, but then again, I don’t know who would be. She is an extremely wounded being. Then your brother was born and he took ALL of the attention. ALL OF IT. And in some ways this gave you a reprieve.
You have always been an advanced soul. And coming into the lives of these two wounded beings, Jean and Jerry, was YOUR choice. You had a few choices and you chose this one as the most growth inducing. Also, you were there for your brother and your mother and father. But you completed that mission years ago. When your brother passed, you were complete. AND no, you DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MOTHER…..which she has been asking you ever since you were a tiny child.
We will laugh and say, “just say no”. Which you fortunately figured out several years ago. But no guilt. No shame. NONE. Let that rest. YOU COMPLETED THE MISSION. YOU COMPLETED THE MISSION. YOU COMPLETED THE MISSION. You are free and clear now. You get to dance with abandon. You get to sing with joy. You get to enjoy your life with zesty joy. You get to enjoy your beautiful hubby and beautiful son and daughter.
If you are able to get a counselor, it will not take many sessions to complete what is needed.
Even though your mother says she is not afraid of death, she is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of death. But know that folks will show her the way and she will be surprised at how different it will be than what she has been thinking. She will also go into a schooling period. She may or may not come back. That is yet to be determined.
So, don’t worry about your mama. Don’t take what she says seriously. Don’t believe anything she says. She has a huge grain/streak/part, okay a gargantuan part of her that is JEALOUS of you. You were able to figure out life. You have two amazing children who love you, who honor you, who want to be around you. You have an amazing husband who is your absolute best friend and loves and supports you WITHOUT QUESTION. He is your rock. She tried four times. And, as you know, she picked men, including all the boyfriends, who were useless and narcissistic and abusive. So, she found God in the animals. She found love in the animals. YOU already know this. But we want to reiterate it. She will do anything for them.
Let her be herself. Don’t try to change her. We know you are not, but don’t hold out any hope that she will change. Just limit your visits, always take Jim, only stay for about 2 hours. These are the guidelines that you have been getting, please stick to them.
She won’t really last much longer. She is EXHAUSTED. And not just from the cancer. But she is still clinging on. Love her from afar. We know this is a challenging one for you. Put her photo on your altar and send her love. She needs it. She is a seriously unhappy woman. And her pets are her only succor.
We’re sorry we did not give you funny tidbits. KNOW that we really loved being your granny. It was very special. And although we did not recognize that greatness and special person you are at the time, we KNEW there was something. It was not as threatening to us since we were a generation removed and older. Not like your mama.
Let your WISE WOMAN-CRONE self shine bright. RISE ABOVE the humdrum 3D world. YOU are NOT a part of that anymore. I/We love you forever and ever.